So, you're seeing somebody new, and you're not completely sure about this. Are you talking to someone who's interested in you and looking for a long term relationship, or have you run into somebody who's just in it for the sex, and is willing to lie about it, too? That's a big concern for lots of us, and it can be a hard question to answer while your heart is telling you one thing and your head is saying another. Let's check out some of the ways you can use to spot somebody who's not really being honest.
1. They're evasive. If you're curious about what they do when they're not with you, and the person you've been seeing isn't all that willing to talk about it, there's a good chance something's up. Non-monogamous people should be willing to let you talk to everybody else they've been seeing. People who've made a promise of monogamy should be willing to keep it.
2. They're perfect. If you're getting to know somebody, and they always seem to have the answer, and are always agreeable, there's a good chance it's a facade. After all, if the end goal is just to get you into bed and leave when they're bored, there's no problem with pretending to be whatever you want. If you're actually serious about someone, there'll be at least a few places where you don't see eye to eye. That's normal.
3. They're pushy. When you feel like your opinions are ignored, like your partner spends a lot of time smiling and nodding while you talk, or like you have to do whatever they want, there's something wrong. A pushy person may be using you for their own entertainment, and probably doesn't care about you as a person.
4. They talk badly about their exes. Everyone has a bad relationship or two, and a lot of people flinch if their partner talks favorably about old partners. But when you're with someone who won't stop badmouthing old relationships, you might want to be careful. If they were that bad, why would anyone get involved in the first place?
5. They fall fast and hard. This might not be a sign of a player - it could be a sign of somebody who's not thinking very well. But "falling in love" right away is often an indicator of somebody who's willing to lie, cheat, and cajole to get you to do whatever they want.
6. They ignore you. If you seem to be getting the cold shoulder when there's someone more attractive around, when their friends are over, or even when there's something good on TV, something is definitely up. Don't stick with someone who doesn't think you're worth paying attention to.
In short if you respect yourself and want to keep your self esteem in tact at all costs avoid entering into a relationship with a player. The stakes are too high against you and the 'game' too costly.
To gain more insights and tips on dating and relationships visit http://www.singlesstreetlife.com.
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
What Are The Different Stages Of Attraction?
If we analyze the way we respond to other people, we will realize that we feel magnetized by some and repulsed by some others. The magnitude of feelings for others is a direct measure of how attracted we are to them, or how deep our interest runs for these people.
It all starts out with the initial meeting. We meet someone and spend time on casual conversation with him or her.
Then we get to know more about his or her personality and our interest deepens. Subsequent to these, we feel like the other person has become a friend who we can talk to about anything.
The relationship goes from formal to informal, from casual to personal and from strict to easygoing.
If we delineate the differences among the different stages of attraction, we come up with a short list of what actually happens when we fall in love with a person.
These steps are illustrated in the following list.
Attraction to Physical Appearance
A person's outward appearance is the first thing that others notice. A person who has 'good looks' will seem more captivating to someone who likes a particular thing about the way that person carries herself or himself. Some like brunettes, blondes and redheads; while others like men and women with jet black hair.
Liking another person's way of dressing is also considered a part of the attraction to physical appearance. As the cliché goes, beauty is truly in the eyes of the beholder. What is pretty to someone could be mundane to another person. Another angle to this stage of attraction is getting attracted to a person's sex appeal. There are people who are not particularly good looking but manage to inspire desire in everyone they meet.
Attraction to Personality
After the initial physical attraction comes the fascination with personality. In a sense, getting to know what makes a person laugh or smile, if he laughs or smiles at all, is like filling a black and white picture with color.
A person could be more attracted to a polar opposite of his personality. Some extroverts may prefer the company of other extroverts because they can do the same activities and share the same experiences. Introverts may also prefer extroverts to other introverts because the former increases the chances to overcome shyness or timidity, a trait associated with being an introvert.
There is no clear cut rule to evaluating what combination works. It all depends on the environment where the partnership is needed. In a business environment, a union with members showing opposite personalities could work in such a way that what one lacks, the other supplies.
Attraction to Intellect
When you find yourself getting attracted to the way a person thinks and puts his or her thoughts into words, you know that your relationship with that person has gone deeper. Getting to this stage of attraction means you have spent time talking to this person and finding out what his views are about different issues or concepts. The way he or she conveys ideas could be very attractive, particularly if you are a person who appreciates a healthy discussion about everything.
About the Author
Clarence Lee has been providing free online dating services to the public for years. His Dating Legend website offers singles personals and online dating personals to its USA, European and Asian members. Register for your FREE membership NOW at => http://www.datinglegend.com
It all starts out with the initial meeting. We meet someone and spend time on casual conversation with him or her.
Then we get to know more about his or her personality and our interest deepens. Subsequent to these, we feel like the other person has become a friend who we can talk to about anything.
The relationship goes from formal to informal, from casual to personal and from strict to easygoing.
If we delineate the differences among the different stages of attraction, we come up with a short list of what actually happens when we fall in love with a person.
These steps are illustrated in the following list.
Attraction to Physical Appearance
A person's outward appearance is the first thing that others notice. A person who has 'good looks' will seem more captivating to someone who likes a particular thing about the way that person carries herself or himself. Some like brunettes, blondes and redheads; while others like men and women with jet black hair.
Liking another person's way of dressing is also considered a part of the attraction to physical appearance. As the cliché goes, beauty is truly in the eyes of the beholder. What is pretty to someone could be mundane to another person. Another angle to this stage of attraction is getting attracted to a person's sex appeal. There are people who are not particularly good looking but manage to inspire desire in everyone they meet.
Attraction to Personality
After the initial physical attraction comes the fascination with personality. In a sense, getting to know what makes a person laugh or smile, if he laughs or smiles at all, is like filling a black and white picture with color.
A person could be more attracted to a polar opposite of his personality. Some extroverts may prefer the company of other extroverts because they can do the same activities and share the same experiences. Introverts may also prefer extroverts to other introverts because the former increases the chances to overcome shyness or timidity, a trait associated with being an introvert.
There is no clear cut rule to evaluating what combination works. It all depends on the environment where the partnership is needed. In a business environment, a union with members showing opposite personalities could work in such a way that what one lacks, the other supplies.
Attraction to Intellect
When you find yourself getting attracted to the way a person thinks and puts his or her thoughts into words, you know that your relationship with that person has gone deeper. Getting to this stage of attraction means you have spent time talking to this person and finding out what his views are about different issues or concepts. The way he or she conveys ideas could be very attractive, particularly if you are a person who appreciates a healthy discussion about everything.
About the Author
Clarence Lee has been providing free online dating services to the public for years. His Dating Legend website offers singles personals and online dating personals to its USA, European and Asian members. Register for your FREE membership NOW at => http://www.datinglegend.com
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Relationships: Letting Go of Problem Solving
We never seem to be able to solve any problems," Kaylee told me in a phone session. "Every time we sit down to solve a problem, we end up fighting. It doesn't really matter what it is about
- it always ends up the same. Is this normal? Aren't couples supposed to be able to solve
problems?
"
"Kaylee, who usually initiates problem-solving talks?"
"I do."
"When you ask Hayden to talk with you about a problem, how does he usually react?"
"He usually rolls his eyes, but he sits down with me."
"Do you have any idea why he rolls his eyes?"
"Yeah. He doesn't want to have to change."
"So when you ask him to sit down with you to solve a problem, he knows that what you are really after is getting him to change, is that right?"
"Yeah, I guess so."
"And then what happens?"
"Well, I tell him what is not working for me and what I think we should do about it and then we end up arguing."
"So, your intent in talking is to solve the problem by getting him to change, is that right?"
"Well, yeah! He is the one causing the problem for me!"
"Kaylee, as long as you believe that he is causing your unhappiness, you will continue to be unhappy.
I have a suggestion for you to try. Instead of trying to get him to change so that you can feel better, try not talking about problems at all. Instead of talking with him, open to learning about what you can do to solve the problem for yourself. Ask your inner guidance what YOU need to do differently to make yourself happy, rather than what HE needs to do differently to make you happy. After all, you are the only one you actually have control over.
"The reason you keep fighting about problem-solving is because you are trying to control him and he is resisting being controlled while trying to have control over getting you off his back. Neither of you are accepting that you don't have control over each other - only over yourselves.
With both of you trying to control, you get stuck in power struggles with no way of resolving anything. But if you focus on what you can control - which is you - then you can learn what you need to do to take care of yourself in the face of whatever Hayden does. How does this sound to you?"
"I'm not sure how this will work. Let's say that I'm upset with Hayden for not calling me when he is going to be late for dinner. It doesn't seem to be to be such a big deal for him to call me, yet he consistently forgets. And you're right - I have no control over getting him to call me. What am I supposed to do?"
"What are you telling yourself that is upsetting you when he doesn't call?"
"That he doesn't care about me. That he has been in an accident. That he is having an affair."
"Then, of course, you feel upset because you are telling yourself things that you don't know to be true. What if you told yourself, 'Hayden is not calling me because he is overwhelmed with work, he is a forgetful person, and he is in resistance to being controlled by me. So I’m going to call a friend and go out to dinner. Or, I'm going to go to the gym whenever he is late. Or, I'm going to rent a movie and eat in front of the TV whenever he is late.' Would you still be so upset?"
"I don't think so! I'm going to try this. I feel better already!
About the Author
Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?" and "Healing Your Aloneness." She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® healing process. Learn Inner Bonding now! Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com or email her at margaret@innerbonding.com. Phone sessions available
- it always ends up the same. Is this normal? Aren't couples supposed to be able to solve
problems?
"
"Kaylee, who usually initiates problem-solving talks?"
"I do."
"When you ask Hayden to talk with you about a problem, how does he usually react?"
"He usually rolls his eyes, but he sits down with me."
"Do you have any idea why he rolls his eyes?"
"Yeah. He doesn't want to have to change."
"So when you ask him to sit down with you to solve a problem, he knows that what you are really after is getting him to change, is that right?"
"Yeah, I guess so."
"And then what happens?"
"Well, I tell him what is not working for me and what I think we should do about it and then we end up arguing."
"So, your intent in talking is to solve the problem by getting him to change, is that right?"
"Well, yeah! He is the one causing the problem for me!"
"Kaylee, as long as you believe that he is causing your unhappiness, you will continue to be unhappy.
I have a suggestion for you to try. Instead of trying to get him to change so that you can feel better, try not talking about problems at all. Instead of talking with him, open to learning about what you can do to solve the problem for yourself. Ask your inner guidance what YOU need to do differently to make yourself happy, rather than what HE needs to do differently to make you happy. After all, you are the only one you actually have control over.
"The reason you keep fighting about problem-solving is because you are trying to control him and he is resisting being controlled while trying to have control over getting you off his back. Neither of you are accepting that you don't have control over each other - only over yourselves.
With both of you trying to control, you get stuck in power struggles with no way of resolving anything. But if you focus on what you can control - which is you - then you can learn what you need to do to take care of yourself in the face of whatever Hayden does. How does this sound to you?"
"I'm not sure how this will work. Let's say that I'm upset with Hayden for not calling me when he is going to be late for dinner. It doesn't seem to be to be such a big deal for him to call me, yet he consistently forgets. And you're right - I have no control over getting him to call me. What am I supposed to do?"
"What are you telling yourself that is upsetting you when he doesn't call?"
"That he doesn't care about me. That he has been in an accident. That he is having an affair."
"Then, of course, you feel upset because you are telling yourself things that you don't know to be true. What if you told yourself, 'Hayden is not calling me because he is overwhelmed with work, he is a forgetful person, and he is in resistance to being controlled by me. So I’m going to call a friend and go out to dinner. Or, I'm going to go to the gym whenever he is late. Or, I'm going to rent a movie and eat in front of the TV whenever he is late.' Would you still be so upset?"
"I don't think so! I'm going to try this. I feel better already!
About the Author
Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?" and "Healing Your Aloneness." She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® healing process. Learn Inner Bonding now! Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com or email her at margaret@innerbonding.com. Phone sessions available
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
What do You Really Want in a Woman?
Have you ever thought it out? Could you answer confidently?
Most guys will respond with something like "I want to be able to nail every woman I feel ATTRACTED to ..." But this is only because they haven't thought things through.
It's not that being able to bed any woman you choose is a bad thing ... it's just not an answer to the above question.
I'm asking what you really want in a woman ... not "how often do you want to have casual sex?"
I'm putting you through this exercise because it will help you to deal more confidently with women you meet. More about this later.
Once you know what you really want in a woman you will start doing things that helps YOU qualify the women you meet. This is a complete reversal of how things normally happen.
Remember what I said when you were first introduced to the Memorable MACKing philosophy: "Don't play by the rules."
Normally, things are reversed
You meet a woman and she starts her qualification process (sometimes unknowingly). Being a creature of habit, she is looking for reasons to disqualify you or to turn you into a friend.
That's usually how things go for her so it's what she has learned to expect.
If you preempt her process however, metaphorically saying "we're not going to do that," you are separating yourself from the herd.
Her antennae will go up. You will find her becoming suddenly curious about you. You'll know this is the situation when she is asking DIRECT questions of you.
Once she senses you are not going to cooperate with her normal process she will try a frontal assault. You have to dodge these questions, though. I recommend turning the tables on her.
"Where do you work?" (meant to get some clues about your income)- "I work in the industry. I like it."
"Did you come here with anybody?" (are you in a relationship?)- "Right now, I'm talking with you."
The key is to answer the question without answering the question. This prevents her from using her qualifiers.
Keep in mind that it is not the case that you are afraid of answering the questions. You must give her the impression that you are not casual about telling people about yourself. This says you are not desparate for a woman; rather, you are confident enough in yourself that you don't feel compelled to try and impress everybody you meet and that she must "earn" this kind of information by selling herself first.
If she persists in trying to get information turn it around and ask what she is after.
- "We've only just met. Are you always this pushy with men you are interested in?"
or maybe ...
- "I don't think you're my type. You'll have to change my mind before I answer personal questions.
"
If you can make her feel as though she has to prove her value to you she will begin to feel ATTRACTION. I know... it's not logical. Don't try to figure it out. Just go with it.
As you interact with her, teasing gently, being funny, and showing her that you understand women, you will be stoking those embers making her feel an emotional, gut response to you.
This is when body language takes on a much bigger role.
Female body language is not difficult to read. It's important to pickup on these so you know when she wants more than a good conversation.
When a women flirts she is saying that she is interested in you. She probably wants you to get closer to her physically. She will allow you in her space.
When a girl is attracted to a man her subconscious moves her closer (so her pheromones fill your senses). Physiological changes and posture adjust to accommodate the opportunity.
It's really easy to understand the majority of female body language.
Follow her eyes when you are talking. If she's flirting, you will see her looking at your mouth, imagining what it would be like to kiss those lips.
If she strokes her thigh, she wants you to look at her legs. It's a kind of tease that women do without realizing it.
We've all seen women with their legs crossed, rocking a shoe back and forth on the tip of her foot. This is an unquestionable invitation. If you doubt that this is a subconscious "come hither", say something aggressive or negative and watch what happens to the shoe and crossed legs.
If she starts rubbing her neck or fidgeting with a necklace it's not because she has a stiff neck or a problem with the necklace. Lifting the arms uplifts her breasts and accentuates the shapes of the upper torso.
She may lower her voice and start whispering. This requires both to lean in and be closer. She's inviting you to share her personal space.
Sitting with her inner thigh exposed means she is comfortable with you. If she is showing you her inner thigh while allowing your legs to touch as you talk, she's thinking of you in a sexual way.
There are countless body language signals women use. I really believe most of them are unconscious. And they are not difficult to decipher.
Generally, if she is inviting you to share her personal space or frequently touches you when talking, she is telling you that SO FAR, she likes the idea of being intimate with you.
How you handle these GO AHEAD signs will determine how far things go.
An important thing to remember is that if you are in a public gathering place, where you really can't be intimate and you haven't planned anything where the two of you can go to move things along, you probably should see the current situation as an opportunity to trigger ATTRACTION strongly for your next meeting where you can control things.
Just when the flirting is at a peak -- end it. Remove yourself, in a gentlemanly fashion.
- "I have to go. (pause) Just when this was getting to be fun. I'd like to see you again. Why don't you give me your email address? Or, I can give you my phone number."
Either way you are in control. If she gives you her email, you choose when to contact her and what the subject will be. If she opts for your phone number, let your machine pickup and call back when it suits you.
The fact is she will be chasing you, hungry to satisfy those ATTRACTION feelings you triggered in her.
But let's get back to why you should think about what you want in a woman.
If you know what you truely are looking for in a woman (not just an afternoon's delight), you won't have any difficulty whatsoever walking away from a woman as an opportunity. Most won't have what you are looking for and will simply be another bedding challenge. No loss whatsoever.
It's being able to walk away without looking back that makes you ATTRACTIVE to women.
I will warn you, though. Having thought it through, when you do meet that special woman that has everything you are looking for, you're in trouble.
And if you think about it, you'll probably have to go through a lot of women before meeting the one-and-only. That's what the MACKnificent Strategies are here for.
Learn the Strategies and they will be lining up for you.
Good Fortune in your MACKing,
About the Author
The MACKnificent Strategies and Memorable MACKing behaviors can be found at http://www.BestInfoFound.com
Most guys will respond with something like "I want to be able to nail every woman I feel ATTRACTED to ..." But this is only because they haven't thought things through.
It's not that being able to bed any woman you choose is a bad thing ... it's just not an answer to the above question.
I'm asking what you really want in a woman ... not "how often do you want to have casual sex?"
I'm putting you through this exercise because it will help you to deal more confidently with women you meet. More about this later.
Once you know what you really want in a woman you will start doing things that helps YOU qualify the women you meet. This is a complete reversal of how things normally happen.
Remember what I said when you were first introduced to the Memorable MACKing philosophy: "Don't play by the rules."
Normally, things are reversed
You meet a woman and she starts her qualification process (sometimes unknowingly). Being a creature of habit, she is looking for reasons to disqualify you or to turn you into a friend.
That's usually how things go for her so it's what she has learned to expect.
If you preempt her process however, metaphorically saying "we're not going to do that," you are separating yourself from the herd.
Her antennae will go up. You will find her becoming suddenly curious about you. You'll know this is the situation when she is asking DIRECT questions of you.
Once she senses you are not going to cooperate with her normal process she will try a frontal assault. You have to dodge these questions, though. I recommend turning the tables on her.
"Where do you work?" (meant to get some clues about your income)- "I work in the industry. I like it."
"Did you come here with anybody?" (are you in a relationship?)- "Right now, I'm talking with you."
The key is to answer the question without answering the question. This prevents her from using her qualifiers.
Keep in mind that it is not the case that you are afraid of answering the questions. You must give her the impression that you are not casual about telling people about yourself. This says you are not desparate for a woman; rather, you are confident enough in yourself that you don't feel compelled to try and impress everybody you meet and that she must "earn" this kind of information by selling herself first.
If she persists in trying to get information turn it around and ask what she is after.
- "We've only just met. Are you always this pushy with men you are interested in?"
or maybe ...
- "I don't think you're my type. You'll have to change my mind before I answer personal questions.
"
If you can make her feel as though she has to prove her value to you she will begin to feel ATTRACTION. I know... it's not logical. Don't try to figure it out. Just go with it.
As you interact with her, teasing gently, being funny, and showing her that you understand women, you will be stoking those embers making her feel an emotional, gut response to you.
This is when body language takes on a much bigger role.
Female body language is not difficult to read. It's important to pickup on these so you know when she wants more than a good conversation.
When a women flirts she is saying that she is interested in you. She probably wants you to get closer to her physically. She will allow you in her space.
When a girl is attracted to a man her subconscious moves her closer (so her pheromones fill your senses). Physiological changes and posture adjust to accommodate the opportunity.
It's really easy to understand the majority of female body language.
Follow her eyes when you are talking. If she's flirting, you will see her looking at your mouth, imagining what it would be like to kiss those lips.
If she strokes her thigh, she wants you to look at her legs. It's a kind of tease that women do without realizing it.
We've all seen women with their legs crossed, rocking a shoe back and forth on the tip of her foot. This is an unquestionable invitation. If you doubt that this is a subconscious "come hither", say something aggressive or negative and watch what happens to the shoe and crossed legs.
If she starts rubbing her neck or fidgeting with a necklace it's not because she has a stiff neck or a problem with the necklace. Lifting the arms uplifts her breasts and accentuates the shapes of the upper torso.
She may lower her voice and start whispering. This requires both to lean in and be closer. She's inviting you to share her personal space.
Sitting with her inner thigh exposed means she is comfortable with you. If she is showing you her inner thigh while allowing your legs to touch as you talk, she's thinking of you in a sexual way.
There are countless body language signals women use. I really believe most of them are unconscious. And they are not difficult to decipher.
Generally, if she is inviting you to share her personal space or frequently touches you when talking, she is telling you that SO FAR, she likes the idea of being intimate with you.
How you handle these GO AHEAD signs will determine how far things go.
An important thing to remember is that if you are in a public gathering place, where you really can't be intimate and you haven't planned anything where the two of you can go to move things along, you probably should see the current situation as an opportunity to trigger ATTRACTION strongly for your next meeting where you can control things.
Just when the flirting is at a peak -- end it. Remove yourself, in a gentlemanly fashion.
- "I have to go. (pause) Just when this was getting to be fun. I'd like to see you again. Why don't you give me your email address? Or, I can give you my phone number."
Either way you are in control. If she gives you her email, you choose when to contact her and what the subject will be. If she opts for your phone number, let your machine pickup and call back when it suits you.
The fact is she will be chasing you, hungry to satisfy those ATTRACTION feelings you triggered in her.
But let's get back to why you should think about what you want in a woman.
If you know what you truely are looking for in a woman (not just an afternoon's delight), you won't have any difficulty whatsoever walking away from a woman as an opportunity. Most won't have what you are looking for and will simply be another bedding challenge. No loss whatsoever.
It's being able to walk away without looking back that makes you ATTRACTIVE to women.
I will warn you, though. Having thought it through, when you do meet that special woman that has everything you are looking for, you're in trouble.
And if you think about it, you'll probably have to go through a lot of women before meeting the one-and-only. That's what the MACKnificent Strategies are here for.
Learn the Strategies and they will be lining up for you.
Good Fortune in your MACKing,
About the Author
The MACKnificent Strategies and Memorable MACKing behaviors can be found at http://www.BestInfoFound.com
Can't we Just be Friends?
We've all heard it at one time or another. Embedded in between those words is the message “We are not going to be intimate.”
The "Can't we just be friends?" question is almost instinctive in a woman when she's trying to keep a guy at arm's distance.
That's because for women, friendships and romantic relationships are two separate things. They are NOT the same.
It's as though women have two separate file folders: FRIENDS and POTENTIAL LOVERS and there is no mixing of the two. Worse yet, once she puts you into the FRIENDS folder it's nearly impossible to make a switch to the other.
This is why it is so important not to act like a friend during the early stages of getting to know a woman. It is next to impossible to make it into the POTENTIAL LOVER folder after you've been relegated to the FRIENDS folder.
If you do the kind of things friends do, she will see you as belonging in the FRIENDS folder, even if she initially felt ATTRACTION for you.
Virtually every guy that a woman meets gets categorized. Some, more quickly than others. Nonetheless, every guy is labeled.
So, we have to ask ourselves how women decide between "just friends" and "I'll be intimate with you". And why is it so hard to make a jump to the POTENTIAL LOVER folder with a woman that has put you in the FRIENDS folder?
Like most riddles, the answer to this question will not be found through normal thought processes. It requires a shift in how we think.
What tells a woman whether the guy she's with is "friend" material or "lover" material is how she FEELS. It is NOT logic. Therein is the problem for guys. We tend to use logic -- but women use emotions and feelings to make decisions about men and then they try to use logic to justify their decisions.
The point is that logic isn't important in this context. So, trying to respond with logic is fruitless. Give it up!
A woman FEELS something emotionally and/or physically, then she uses those FEELINGS as the basis for her "decisions" and actions with a particular guy.
If she gets the “Yuck!” feeling at the thought of being intimate with a guy, then her “logical” conclusion will be that she does not want to date the guy.
On the other hand, if she gets giggly and feels warm fuzzies all over, then her “logical” conclusion will be that this guy is interesting and attractive and a good choice to date. She has herself convinced that it was a logical decision, but in fact it was an emotional and physical decision.
GUYS MAKING MATTERS WORSE
With all this in mind, it's significant to note how most guys behave around women that they're romantically interested in?
He takes her to dinner ... and compliments her a lot ... and buys her flowers ... and phones her often....
These are all the messages that HE's interested. They are NOT things that trigger the emotional and physical feelings inside of a woman.
Men act as though women don't understand that they are interested and that they have to keep sending women messages as though sooner or later she'll get the message and feel ATTRACTION in response.
Almost NONE of the things men do to court women make women FEEL ANYTHING even remotely similar to ATTRACTION and/or arousal.
There is another danger that men don't think about but they are on a clock so to speak. Every minute you are with a woman you are drifting toward the FRIENDS folder unless you are actively working against it.
Spend a lot of time with her being “nice” and you are making a new friend.You have to stop thinking that by fixing all the problems in her life that you are going to be seen as a potential lover.
You are not her therapist, her financial advisor, counselor, girlfriend, confessor, mentor, or anything else that will get you a first class ticket to the FRIENDS folder. Is that what you want?
There will be plenty of time to become friends AFTER you have bedroom privileges.
It's curious. Once you make it to LOVER status, doing all the things that friends do is OK. It's not logical. But, let's not forget. We're talking about women here.
Hopefully, this is beginning to make sense for you. Let's think like guys for a minute, using logic, and see if I can suggest a strategy (what a great word!).
First of all, when you notice or meet an attractive woman that you are interested in, don't act like all the other idiots trying to nice their way into her pants. She'll tag you as one of the herd and certainly won't be feeling attraction.
Rather, do something different. Be unique. You have to set yourself apart somehow in her mind. That's where the MACKnificent Strategies come in.
The Strategies certainly are not the only way of distinguishing yourself but they work. If you learn and practice them, when you entertain women with your special skills they will think of you as being specially connected with them as evidenced by your "clairvoyance", your ability to "foresee" certain things, your "psychokinetic" skills and your "psychic" abilities.
Roll this together with a plan and some MACKing behaviors and the FRIENDS folder won't be a concern for you. Women will not be able to forget you.
About the Author
The MACKnificent Strategies and Memorable MACKing behaviors can be found at http://www.BestInfoFound.com
The "Can't we just be friends?" question is almost instinctive in a woman when she's trying to keep a guy at arm's distance.
That's because for women, friendships and romantic relationships are two separate things. They are NOT the same.
It's as though women have two separate file folders: FRIENDS and POTENTIAL LOVERS and there is no mixing of the two. Worse yet, once she puts you into the FRIENDS folder it's nearly impossible to make a switch to the other.
This is why it is so important not to act like a friend during the early stages of getting to know a woman. It is next to impossible to make it into the POTENTIAL LOVER folder after you've been relegated to the FRIENDS folder.
If you do the kind of things friends do, she will see you as belonging in the FRIENDS folder, even if she initially felt ATTRACTION for you.
Virtually every guy that a woman meets gets categorized. Some, more quickly than others. Nonetheless, every guy is labeled.
So, we have to ask ourselves how women decide between "just friends" and "I'll be intimate with you". And why is it so hard to make a jump to the POTENTIAL LOVER folder with a woman that has put you in the FRIENDS folder?
Like most riddles, the answer to this question will not be found through normal thought processes. It requires a shift in how we think.
What tells a woman whether the guy she's with is "friend" material or "lover" material is how she FEELS. It is NOT logic. Therein is the problem for guys. We tend to use logic -- but women use emotions and feelings to make decisions about men and then they try to use logic to justify their decisions.
The point is that logic isn't important in this context. So, trying to respond with logic is fruitless. Give it up!
A woman FEELS something emotionally and/or physically, then she uses those FEELINGS as the basis for her "decisions" and actions with a particular guy.
If she gets the “Yuck!” feeling at the thought of being intimate with a guy, then her “logical” conclusion will be that she does not want to date the guy.
On the other hand, if she gets giggly and feels warm fuzzies all over, then her “logical” conclusion will be that this guy is interesting and attractive and a good choice to date. She has herself convinced that it was a logical decision, but in fact it was an emotional and physical decision.
GUYS MAKING MATTERS WORSE
With all this in mind, it's significant to note how most guys behave around women that they're romantically interested in?
He takes her to dinner ... and compliments her a lot ... and buys her flowers ... and phones her often....
These are all the messages that HE's interested. They are NOT things that trigger the emotional and physical feelings inside of a woman.
Men act as though women don't understand that they are interested and that they have to keep sending women messages as though sooner or later she'll get the message and feel ATTRACTION in response.
Almost NONE of the things men do to court women make women FEEL ANYTHING even remotely similar to ATTRACTION and/or arousal.
There is another danger that men don't think about but they are on a clock so to speak. Every minute you are with a woman you are drifting toward the FRIENDS folder unless you are actively working against it.
Spend a lot of time with her being “nice” and you are making a new friend.You have to stop thinking that by fixing all the problems in her life that you are going to be seen as a potential lover.
You are not her therapist, her financial advisor, counselor, girlfriend, confessor, mentor, or anything else that will get you a first class ticket to the FRIENDS folder. Is that what you want?
There will be plenty of time to become friends AFTER you have bedroom privileges.
It's curious. Once you make it to LOVER status, doing all the things that friends do is OK. It's not logical. But, let's not forget. We're talking about women here.
Hopefully, this is beginning to make sense for you. Let's think like guys for a minute, using logic, and see if I can suggest a strategy (what a great word!).
First of all, when you notice or meet an attractive woman that you are interested in, don't act like all the other idiots trying to nice their way into her pants. She'll tag you as one of the herd and certainly won't be feeling attraction.
Rather, do something different. Be unique. You have to set yourself apart somehow in her mind. That's where the MACKnificent Strategies come in.
The Strategies certainly are not the only way of distinguishing yourself but they work. If you learn and practice them, when you entertain women with your special skills they will think of you as being specially connected with them as evidenced by your "clairvoyance", your ability to "foresee" certain things, your "psychokinetic" skills and your "psychic" abilities.
Roll this together with a plan and some MACKing behaviors and the FRIENDS folder won't be a concern for you. Women will not be able to forget you.
About the Author
The MACKnificent Strategies and Memorable MACKing behaviors can be found at http://www.BestInfoFound.com
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